This is the book we’ve been waiting for! Lyubomirsky and Reis marry the best happiness science with the best relationship science to identify the five mindsets for building a life filled with love.

It’s about time an expert on happiness (Lyubomirsky) and one on relationships (Reis) came together! In How to Feel Loved, they show that the true key to happiness lies not in being perfect, nor in finding the ideal partner, but in learning how to relate to others so as to feel loved. Through research and stories, they outline simple but powerful mindsets—sharing openly, listening with curiosity, embracing complexity, and keeping an open heart—that anyone can practice. Their 'Sea-Saw' metaphor reveals how love grows through a back-and-forth process of mutual lifting up, offering readers both inspiration and practical guidance.

Science and ancient wisdom have shown that the secret to happiness is to love—and to feel loved. If you struggle with the latter, Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis have the solution. How to Feel Loved is a deeply researched and beautifully written guide to finding what we all need for true happiness. This book might change your life.

In How to Feel Loved, Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis identify the five mindsets that show love isn’t something you wait for; it’s something you help create through small, everyday choices. This book is a gift to anyone who wants to live with more joy and connection, which will also help you live longer.

Everyone wants to feel more loved. It’s remarkable that no one thought to study such a central driver of human happiness before. Lyubomirsky and Reis have done a beautiful job combining real science with compelling stories to show us exactly how to make this happen. Their approach is non-obvious, fruitful, and evidence-based—an important body of work.